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Ricochet: Poppa Bush Exposed in Depraved Sex Scandal!

10/25/2017

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WW2 hero and former President of these United States George H.W. Bush is ensnared in a lurid controversy that has shaken the globe, along with a few heinies. Not one but two fair maidens have alleged that the wheelchair-bound 93-year-old tried to cop a feel during group photos.
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No cigars, potted plants, or sunken Oldsmobiles were found at the crime scenes, but the similar descriptions show a patriarchal pattern of predatory pinching. When several women swarm the seated nonagenarian, he slowly reaches his hand around the damsel to his right and … well … it’s too disturbing for me to describe, so I’ll let the ace journalists at Deadspin take it from here.

"He asked the group, ‘Do you want to know who my favorite magician is?’ As I felt his hand dig into my flesh, he said, ‘David Cop-a-Feel!’” pic.twitter.com/NTbUSEAnF0

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 26, 2017
Heh. “David Cop-a-feel.”

​Er, I mean, this is an outrage! Does the “H.W.” stand for Harvey Weinstein?! I call on Bill Clinton to condemn this lewd behavior at once.

Bush was quick to apologize for both incidents:

Just in: Statement from George HW Bush on allegations by actress pic.twitter.com/hKBd4GHQgg

— David Mack (@davidmackau) October 25, 2017
Me being me, I made light of the situation on social media and, within seconds, the Woke Police feigned shock at my lack of performative indignation.

Come on, people, it’s pretty funny. Yeah, it’s gross if someone my age tried this crap, but we’re dealing with a very old, very ill man, who probably lost his impulse control a decade ago. I’m amused that over my lifetime, Bush Sr. morphed from a repressed, nerdy technocrat to a character from ‘The Benny Hill Show.”

He reminds me of a resident at my dad’s memory care facility, who I’ll call Bobby. He sits in his favorite chair, dangling an unlit cigar from his lips as he pontificates in his thick outer-borough accent. Until he falls asleep mid-sentence and the stogie waggles up and down with his labored breathing.

But when my sister walks in the room, look out. The old fella achingly stumbles to his feet, looks her up and down, and says, “Wow!” before asking for a kiss. When his wife is there, she offers a tired apologetic look to my sister since he does this all the time. But before we leave, sis gives both him and my dad a big hug. You should see Bobby’s eyes light up.

Maybe we can give these old guys a break. Yes, their behavior is tacky, inappropriate, and not hip to the latest social justice rules posted on Tumblr. But to call this “sexual assault,” as one of the accusers did, takes the meaning away from the phrase.

​As our WW2 vets are wheeled by a nurse to life’s finish line, they could use an extra measure of tolerance, forgiveness, and grace. Save the epithets for actual abusers.
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