Jon Gabriel
  • Home
  • Words
  • Media
  • Design
  • Contact

Ricochet: In Defense of Steve Martin’s “King Tut”

11/6/2017

0 Comments

 
​On the latest Ricochet podcast, Minnesotan segue-master James Lileks impugned Steve Martin’s classic “Saturday Night Live” performance of “King Tut” thusly:
​“It’s not a funny song, it just isn’t. It’s not a funny bit, there’s nothing really to it that requires anybody to look at it now. Only, sort of, their late Boomer betters saying, ‘oh, Steve Martin is the bomb, you must watch this, this is brilliant,’ but it’s not. You were stoned in college when you watched that and you thought it was funny but it isn’t.”
​Lies. Damnable lies. Now, defending any joke is like dissecting a frog: you’ll figure out what makes it tick, but the patient dies in the process. With that said, here’s the bit:

Read More
0 Comments

Arizona Republic: Are Americans on the brink of killing free speech?

11/4/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Government allowing people to speak their minds is a recent development. For pretty much all of human history, the common folk only could say what their king, queen or petty despot allowed them to say.

That finally changed 241 years ago as the upstart American republic said that anything goes.

​Speak your mind, print what you want, and worship – or don’t. Your fellow citizens might disagree, but your government can’t do anything about it.


Read More
0 Comments

Ricochet: Poppa Bush Exposed in Depraved Sex Scandal!

10/25/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
WW2 hero and former President of these United States George H.W. Bush is ensnared in a lurid controversy that has shaken the globe, along with a few heinies. Not one but two fair maidens have alleged that the wheelchair-bound 93-year-old tried to cop a feel during group photos.
​
No cigars, potted plants, or sunken Oldsmobiles were found at the crime scenes, but the similar descriptions show a patriarchal pattern of predatory pinching. When several women swarm the seated nonagenarian, he slowly reaches his hand around the damsel to his right and … well … it’s too disturbing for me to describe, so I’ll let the ace journalists at Deadspin take it from here.


Read More
0 Comments

Ricochet: Announcing My Candidacy to Be US Senator from Arizona

10/24/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Thank you. Thank you and thank you, please be seated. Thank you. [Points at random person in crowd, feigning recognition] Yes, thank you. Please. You can sit down. [Fake laugh.] Seriously. Come on. Thank you. OK … enough. Sit down!

I thank Kid Rock for that very generous introduction and for all the support that you and your stripper escorts have given me. You know that America is greatly indebted to Mr. Rock for his years of courageous and visionary … rap/rock/country stuff. You brew beer too, right? Cool.
​
Anyhoo, with Senator Flake’s announcement that he will not seek re-election as US Senator from the great state of Arizona, many, many people have recommended that I throw my hat in the ring. So many people.


Read More
0 Comments

Ricochet: Leave Your Legacy

10/19/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Last month, we lost iconic character actor Harry Dean Stanton. A rangy Kentuckian with a prematurely craggy face, he was a fixture in American cinema for the past half century. His presence drew the viewer into his world-weary eyes, wondering about the depth behind them. All the while, he possessed an innate cool; a Hollywood version of Johnny Cash.

Reading various encomia about his passing, I came across one tidbit I can’t stop thinking about. A few years back, his similarly spooky friend David Lynch posed a question to Stanton: “How would you like to be remembered?”
​
Stanton’s answer: “It doesn’t matter.”


Read More
0 Comments

Ricochet: Red Team? Blue Team? Start Your Own Team.

9/23/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Saturday afternoon, a shocking story shook the nation to its core. Not trivia about North Korean nukes, massive flooding in Puerto Rico, or the collapse of the US healthcare system. This was urgent.

Within minutes, millions across the country interrupted conversations with their kids, set aside their chores, and canceled their Saturday night plans. A battle is afoot and their nation needed them.
​
Remember when multimillionaire President Trump criticized a multimillionaire football player last night? Well today, a multimillionaire basketball player said he didn’t want to go to the White House no more. So, President Trump said the multimillionaire basketball player wasn’t welcome at the White House in the first place. And then a different multimillionaire basketball player tweeted something mean at President Trump.

Honestly, I’m just happy the Republic hasn’t collapsed.


Read More
0 Comments

Arizona Republic: Why are Democrats fighting Trump? Manipulating him is easier

9/22/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Ever since President Donald Trump entered the Oval Office, the message from the left has been “resist.”

His inauguration weekend was marred by protests; some peaceful, others violent. There was the Women’s March, March for Science, Tax March, People’s Climate March, March for Truth, and an Impeachment March. Not to mention Antifa’s holy war against newspaper racks and Starbucks windows.

Democrats resisted him in Washington, New York City, Mar-a-Lago, and pretty much everywhere else he showed his orange face. Above the White House, they hung a resist banner from a crane and floated a giant Trump chicken nearby.
​
Strangely, none of these changed the fact that Trump is still president of the United States.


Read More
0 Comments

Ricochet: Sorry, LA, But You’re Hosting the Olympics

9/13/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
On Monday, the International Olympics Committee “awarded” the 2024 Summer Games to Paris and the 2028 Summer Games to Los Angeles. The leaders of both cities were thrilled at the announcement, pointing to the honor, legacy, and other unmeasurable vagaries the Olympics will bring.
​
But hosting the five-ring circus hasn’t worked out well in modern history:


Read More
0 Comments

USA TODAY: Irma and Harvey will slam U.S. economy. Rebuilding can't fix that.

9/10/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Ever since Hurricane Harvey slammed into Texas two weeks ago, we’ve seen countless images of heroic rescues, flooded interstates and damaged buildings. 

As awful as the human toll was, it was not as bad as many of us feared. But it will take months to repair the homes, businesses and infrastructure of Houston and the surrounding area. The same will be true in Florida after Hurricane Irma.

​The economic impact could be felt for years, but many economists and financial experts think there’s a silver lining.


Read More
0 Comments

USA TOday: Sheriff Joe Arpaio is no conservative and no hero, no matter what President Trump says

8/28/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
President Trump asked the crowd last week at his Phoenix rally, "Was Sheriff Joe convicted for doing his job?" Had the hall been filled with an accurate cross section of Arpaio’s former constituents, the answer would have been a resounding “no.”

Nevertheless, Trump pardoned the ex-sheriff on Friday, though he had not been sentenced and had shown zero remorse for his crime.
​
America’s self-proclaimed “toughest sheriff” was convicted of criminal contempt of court last month after refusing to obey court orders. This most recent legal battle involved numerous federal attempts to get Arpaio to stop racially profiling residents of Maricopa County.


Read More
1 Comment
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Archives

    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    Categories

    All
    Arizona
    Arizona Republic
    Art
    Business
    Buzzfeed
    Communication
    Culture
    Daily Caller
    Design
    Drugs
    Economy
    Education
    Energy
    Environment
    Family
    Food & Drink
    Freedomworks
    Free Speech
    Gender
    Guns
    Health Care
    Heartland Institute
    Humor
    Immigration
    International
    Journalism
    Military
    Music
    Neatorama
    NY Post
    Outrage
    Philosophy
    Photoshop
    Politics
    Red Tape
    Religion
    Ricochet
    Social Media
    Technology
    Unions
    USA Today
    Wall Street Journal

    RSS Feed

© 2017  Jon Gabriel. All rights reserved.
  • Home
  • Words
  • Media
  • Design
  • Contact