​On the latest Ricochet podcast, Minnesotan segue-master James Lileks impugned Steve Martin’s classic “Saturday Night Live” performance of “King Tut” thusly:

​Lies. Damnable lies. Now, defending any joke is like dissecting a frog: you’ll figure out what makes it tick, but the patient dies in the process. With that said, here’s the bit:

Government allowing people to speak their minds is a recent development. For pretty much all of human history, the common folk only could say what their king, queen or petty despot allowed them to say.

That finally changed 241 years ago as the upstart American republic said that anything goes.

​Speak your mind, print what you want, and worship – or don’t. Your fellow citizens might disagree, but your government can’t do anything about it.

WW2 hero and former President of these United States George H.W. Bush is ensnared in a lurid controversy that has shaken the globe, along with a few heinies. Not one but two fair maidens have alleged that the wheelchair-bound 93-year-old tried to cop a feel during group photos.
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No cigars, potted plants, or sunken Oldsmobiles were found at the crime scenes, but the similar descriptions show a patriarchal pattern of predatory pinching. When several women swarm the seated nonagenarian, he slowly reaches his hand around the damsel to his right and … well … it’s too disturbing for me to describe, so I’ll let the ace journalists at Deadspin take it from here.

Thank you. Thank you and thank you, please be seated. Thank you. [Points at random person in crowd, feigning recognition] Yes, thank you. Please. You can sit down. [Fake laugh.] Seriously. Come on. Thank you. OK … enough. Sit down!

I thank Kid Rock for that very generous introduction and for all the support that you and your stripper escorts have given me. You know that America is greatly indebted to Mr. Rock for his years of courageous and visionary … rap/rock/country stuff. You brew beer too, right? Cool.
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Anyhoo, with Senator Flake’s announcement that he will not seek re-election as US Senator from the great state of Arizona, many, many people have recommended that I throw my hat in the ring. So many people.

Last month, we lost iconic character actor Harry Dean Stanton. A rangy Kentuckian with a prematurely craggy face, he was a fixture in American cinema for the past half century. His presence drew the viewer into his world-weary eyes, wondering about the depth behind them. All the while, he possessed an innate cool; a Hollywood version of Johnny Cash.

Reading various encomia about his passing, I came across one tidbit I can’t stop thinking about. A few years back, his similarly spooky friend David Lynch posed a question to Stanton: “How would you like to be remembered?”
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Stanton’s answer: “It doesn’t matter.”

Saturday afternoon, a shocking story shook the nation to its core. Not trivia about North Korean nukes, massive flooding in Puerto Rico, or the collapse of the US healthcare system. This was urgent.

Within minutes, millions across the country interrupted conversations with their kids, set aside their chores, and canceled their Saturday night plans. A battle is afoot and their nation needed them.
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Remember when multimillionaire President Trump criticized a multimillionaire football player last night? Well today, a multimillionaire basketball player said he didn’t want to go to the White House no more. So, President Trump said the multimillionaire basketball player wasn’t welcome at the White House in the first place. And then a different multimillionaire basketball player tweeted something mean at President Trump.

Honestly, I’m just happy the Republic hasn’t collapsed.

Ever since President Donald Trump entered the Oval Office, the message from the left has been “resist.”

His inauguration weekend was marred by protests; some peaceful, others violent. There was the Women’s March, March for Science, Tax March, People’s Climate March, March for Truth, and an Impeachment March. Not to mention Antifa’s holy war against newspaper racks and Starbucks windows.

Democrats resisted him in Washington, New York City, Mar-a-Lago, and pretty much everywhere else he showed his orange face. Above the White House, they hung a resist banner from a crane and floated a giant Trump chicken nearby.
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Strangely, none of these changed the fact that Trump is still president of the United States.

On Monday, the International Olympics Committee “awarded” the 2024 Summer Games to Paris and the 2028 Summer Games to Los Angeles. The leaders of both cities were thrilled at the announcement, pointing to the honor, legacy, and other unmeasurable vagaries the Olympics will bring.
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But hosting the five-ring circus hasn’t worked out well in modern history:

Ever since Hurricane Harvey slammed into Texas two weeks ago, we’ve seen countless images of heroic rescues, flooded interstates and damaged buildings. 

As awful as the human toll was, it was not as bad as many of us feared. But it will take months to repair the homes, businesses and infrastructure of Houston and the surrounding area. The same will be true in Florida after Hurricane Irma.

​The economic impact could be felt for years, but many economists and financial experts think there’s a silver lining.

President Trump asked the crowd last week at his Phoenix rally, "Was Sheriff Joe convicted for doing his job?" Had the hall been filled with an accurate cross section of Arpaio’s former constituents, the answer would have been a resounding “no.”

Nevertheless, Trump pardoned the ex-sheriff on Friday, though he had not been sentenced and had shown zero remorse for his crime.
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America’s self-proclaimed “toughest sheriff” was convicted of criminal contempt of court last month after refusing to obey court orders. This most recent legal battle involved numerous federal attempts to get Arpaio to stop racially profiling residents of Maricopa County.