RICOCHET

The prophecies were true: a “whiskey apocalypse” threatens to ravage the lives of brown beverage producers and enthusiasts alike. Hootch experts explain that the public is downing bottles of premium whiskey faster than the barrel-aged libations can be produced.

“Despite the increase in distillation over the past few years,” says the Buffalo Trace Distillery, “bourbon demand still outpaces supply.” That goes for fine scotch and other top-shelf potables as well, all of which became trendy overnight. “Ten years ago everybody drank vodka, and Scotch was something you kept around for when your dad visited. Now, whiskey of all kinds has become a fetish object of the young, urban, and image-conscious.”

The Four Horsemen of the Whiskey Apocalypse are sporting Selvedge denim, fancy beards and ironic fedorae:

RICOCHET

The sky is always falling. If the new ice age doesn’t do us in, the ozone hole will. The instant DDT is banned, aerosols must follow. Global warming is replaced by climate change is replaced by “global weirding.”

And what is the solution to these often-contradictory scenarios? We anachronists who retain a bias toward the hard sciences would employ very different measures to prevent a freezing ocean and a boiling one. To an engineer, soldier or plumber, this is obvious.

But how do leaders of the environmental left address these opposing doomsdays? By raising taxes, increasing government, impeding capitalism and reducing national sovereignty. Coincidentally, the same policies they would promote if their supposed environmental catastrophe was utter fiction. It is little wonder that voters are suspicious.

RICOCHET

What the flaming heck is going on in Brighton, Michigan? If you curse near one of their city-owned playgrounds, the cops will give you a ticket and a steep fine. That just burns my biscuits.

Colin Andersen, age 19, swore at a police officer for giving his buddy a skateboarding ticket. (I guess skateboarding is a crime after all.) For some reason Andersen was surprised that the officer didn’t approve and was shocked to receive a ticket and a $200 fine for disorderly conduct.

Sounds like a lot of horsepuckey to me, Colin.

Even before I had kids, public swearing around children annoyed the H-E-double-hockey-sticks out of me. My Navy days taught me words that would make a carny’s eyes water, but kids don’t need to hear that razzle-frazzit at a playground.

In a country where free speech reigns, should public swearing be illegal? Police are allowed to enforce community standards, but is it overkill to fine a potty-mouth a couple of C-notes for four-letter words?

Every unpleasant activity doesn’t require a frickin’ police response. If I’m at a playground and a teen is cussing, I’ll tell the cotton-headed ninny muggins to knock it off. That works nearly every time; when one parent speaks up, the rest usually pile on.

On the other hand, there are laws against other inappropriate behavior in public spaces (nudity, excessive violence, drunkenness, etc.). Perhaps a law against public swearing is consistent with those proscriptions.

What do you think, Ricochet — are anti-swearing laws great, merely acceptable, or totally wrong-headed and unconstitutional?

RICOCHET

Harry S. Truman had a sign on his desk declaring, “the buck stops here.” Barack Obama’s updated version would be a Jay Carney bobblehead that mutters, “I would refer you to the Treasury Department so as to determine the status of said buck.”

Six years late, the press is discovering that Obama has little to offer but blame. In today’s National Journal longtime AP reporter Ron Fournier dubbed our chief executive “the superhero of excuses”:

RICOCHET

I’m wrapping up a week in Washington, D.C., where I attended an excellent Future of Media conference sponsored by the Franklin Center and the Heritage Foundation. Tuesday night featured the third annual Andrew Breitbart Awards, which honored citizen journalists and was keynoted by Greg Gutfeld (who killed it, of course). As Wednesday’s sessions wrapped up, the Republican National Committee offered about a dozen of us the chance to meet Sen. Ted Cruz in his office.

Even in this casual session, Sen. Cruz showcased his in-depth knowledge of myriad subjects. After 15 minutes or so his staff insisted he get to the Senate floor for a vote. Before leaving, I introduced myself and said I wrote for Ricochet.com. He praised the site, smiled broadly and said, “you wrote a parody about how I was a bully.”

I couldn’t believe he remembered my first piece at Ricochet — and was a bit concerned he would bust my chops a bit. But Sen. Cruz further shocked me by recounting from memory a few of his favorite lines and the favorites among his office staff. He insisted the piece was a big hit. Whew.

So the next time Rob, Peter and James note that Ricochet is read in the halls of power, they aren’t kidding. Thanks for reading, Senator, and here’s the piece again for those who missed it last year.

RICOCHET

Chief Executive magazine has released their 10th annual survey of CEOs concerning their views of the best states and the worst states for business. More than 500 CEOs graded states on their tax and regulatory regimes, quality of the workforce, and quality of life.

I created a graphic of the 10 best and the 10 worst. The results may surprise you:

(Just kidding — the results aren’t surprising at all.)

All states in the Top 10 have GOP governors; Seven of the Bottom 10 are run by Democrats. Those three GOP-led states in the Bottom 10 all went for Obama in 2008 and 2012.

Where does your state rank?

RICOCHET

Russia is invading its neighbors, China is expanding its claims over the western Pacific, and Islamic militants are terrorizing Syria, Libya, Yemen, Nigeria and other nations. But fear not, America: President Barack Obama has ordered his forces to deploy high-yield tactical hashtags across social media.

As the administration drastically cuts the U.S. military, the State Department’s Jen Psaki launched a brutal fussilade of tweets at Vladimir Putin, complaining that Moscow wasn’t living up to “the promise of hashtag.” Today, a pouty Michelle Obama is facing down Nigeria’s murderous Boko Haram with a hashtagged photo uploaded to Instagram.

Let’s all pray North Korea doesn’t march south or Chuck Hagel will have to curate an anti-Juche Pinterest board.

RICOCHET

At what point do Democrats admit that Harry Reid, well, isn’t all there?

The 74-year-old former boxer has often tossed around unsourced smears to gain a brief political advantage, but now one wonders if he took too many blows to the head. Reid’s current obsession with long-time libertarian donors Charles and David Koch is  downright nonsensical. He’s making increasingly bizarre allegations with little apparent benefit.

Over the past few months, the addled Senate Majority Leader has blamed the Brothers Koch for everything from the stalled minimum wage debate to the crisis in Ukraine. But Reid’s most recent rant blamed these two private American citizens for climate change itself.